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JOKES BY JAMIE LAIDLAW!!!

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America
MARIA: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria!

TEACHER: Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
FRANK: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your multiplications on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables!

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: That's not right...
GLENN: Mabye it's wrong in your case, but you asked me how I spell it!

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it was H to O!

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have 10 years ago.
WINNIE: Me!

TEACHER: Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground that you are.

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE: I is -
TEACHER: No, Millie. Always say, "I am."
MILLIE: All right. "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

TEACHER: Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO: Well Sir, my mother and father got married at the same time, on the same day.

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louis, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand!

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say your prayers before eating?
SIMON: No Sir, I don't have to. My mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, it's the same dog!

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested.
HAROLD: A teacher or a politition.